DooBlog

Have you ever experienced holding a baby in your arms while he sleeps?  I have.  It is a moment that I do not want to get out of.  At that time I feel like I’m time travelling, back to the time when I was young.  Back to the time when life seems absolutely problem-free.  When I lived a perfect life - without responsibilities, no heartaches, no planning ahead of who I want to be or what I want to achieve in 5 years time, when all I worry about is play, sleep and ‘dede’.  When I hold a baby in my arms, for a moment I am free and I am happy.

But holding a baby too long makes me very sad as well.  Anxious of what is to be or not to be.  "Will I ever have a baby?" is the question that pops in mind.  A worse question perhaps is "Am I capable of bearing one?". 

I sometimes think of how ironic the world is.  Why some women who are blessed with the capability to reproduce would choose to have their babies aborted while others like me who desperately want to have one simply can’t.

Whenever I hold a baby in my arms I utter a prayer that someday God will give me a special gift, that someday I will have my own baby to hold.  That someday I will be called Mom.

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 20th, 2006 at 2:41 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.